August 5, 2008

25 Ways to Become the Most Hated Individual in Your Neighborhood This Halloween

1. Unwrap Baby Ruth ™ candy bars and place them in your neighbor’s pool. Throw in a few pieces of toilet paper for added effect.

2. Dress like a fish and flop around in the front yard.

3. Give out toothpicks instead of candy.

4. When you see your neighbor outside say something like, “Mary, have people been ringing your doorbell all night, begging for candy too?”

5. Rub mayonnaise in everyone’s hair.

6. Play loud music all night and frequently call your elderly neighbors asking them to turn that $#%@ music down before you call the police.

7. Wear a sexy Halloween costume that’s two sizes too small and ask everyone if it makes you look fat.

8. Critique everyone’s costume.

9. Dress like Superman and ask if anyone knows where your loyal sidekick, Robin, is.

10. Dress like Indiana Jones and hit everyone with your whip.

11. Wear a hula skirt and ask your neighbors if they want to get leid.

12. Ask trick-or-treaters what in the &#%@ they want.

13. Dress as Santa and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

14. Dress like a bum and ask your neighbors if they mind if you dig through their trash.

15. Dress like a dog and bark at everyone who passes by.

16. Dress in a sperm costume and bump into everyone you see.

17. Throw boiled eggs at people’s houses when someone is watching and proclaim, “Well, that’s just no fun at all!”

18. When trick-or-treaters come to your door, say, “Gee, thanks man!” and take their candy.

19. Dress as a loaf of bread and swear the toaster is after you.

20. Don’t shower for a few days and tell everyone you’re going to the Halloween party as a fart.

21. Dress as Chewbacca and make loud Wookiee sounds all night.

22. Dress as a farmer and ask if anyone has seen your cow. (Come back later dressed as the cow.)

23. Dress as a fireman and squirt everyone with water.

24. Dress as the Grim Reaper and chase your neighbors as you scream, “You can’t run forever!”

25. Offer to be your hot next door neighbor's Halloween costume.